Incongruence - between seeing the cello and registering that I'm supposed to be a cellist, but feeling like a fake one. Between seeing this role that I'm supposed to playing, that of some iffy helper, when I don't even believe in my own ability to help. Maybe there is no help at all.
Anyway. Figured I should stop giving people the impression that attachment is going badly. After all, we just did a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy workshop on coping with negative emotions using movies and music. It was freakin' fun not just because we had an excuse to watch DVDs until our eyes popped, but because it was something we thought of on our own accord. It's like, raising a baby.
(Ok WRONG analogy, Stich is not a candidate for sperm donation at all. Eww.)
And anyway, if the workshop is going to be called a 'baby', it's probably an illegitimate child born because of the "no choice lor.." mentality. Stich says that it's MY "brainchild", and I don't understand why he sees the need to disassociate from it. The workshop didn't go badly at all, except for the fact that people got restless during his segment and needed a pee break. 6 people came on 6/6/06, which was more than expected, and nothing seemed particularly jinxed even though the thunder and lightning did add to the special effects especially during our Fear Segment.
But on the bright side I got a second client, as a result of shameless selling of self, and this is a really really cool case. Or so I think.
Finally I see the point of all that waiting. After spending weeks holed up reading book after book on all sorts of therapies, everything seems to be falling in place, and suddenly I find myself using stuff from everywhere, and almost knowing what to use at what time. It fell together during the group session during the workshop and the metaphorical lightbulb flashed and I suddenly stopped thinking in theories and started thinking in human terms. It sounds abstract and unintelligible and I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it feels like your body i settling into a huge bean bag, and not the one that warms very fast; this one remains comfortably cool.
