alternative

I'm starting to see myself manifest inwardly-directed-frustration during lectures.

Recently I've taken (again) to making random ink markings on the back of my hands, around the wrist, wherever. It helps me concentrate better. The thing is, if anyone has tried using a Pilot G2 to write on the back of your hand, you would have discovered that it takes a lot to get the ink to come out (uniball signo pens work better on skin). You have to actually press really hard, and do it a few times to get any ink out. Also the space restrictions mean everytime my writing has covered the back of my hands, I have to rub it out and start over again. Or else I just retrace the words over and over.

(As much as there are 2 hands to write on, it simply isn't enough for a 2 hour lecture, what more for a 3 hour seminar.)

Nearer the evening, more than halfway through a seminar, someone next to me went 'you self-mutilating ah?'. And I said 'no la it's just a pen'. That was until I realised that there were red 'shadows' behind the words on my hands that remained after the ink had washed off.

Bruises that spell words, how cool is that.