engineered

So as some people know, I got a C+ for my fieldwork, and I suppose it's due to the million and one ethical violations that was known to the whole department, but who cares. I've since then been wearing it proudly like a badge that says I have a license to spout rubbish and ask totally random and stupid questions like "What's objective and subjective."

Today during gender lecture, the lecturer (the one who probably thinks I'm stupid after yesterday's consultation, let's call her Prints) asked a question.

"If you were an FSC director, who would you employ?"

1. a competitive, independent, objective, detached male
2. a competitive, independent, objective, detached female
3. a gentle, nurturing, sensitive emotional male
4. a gentle, nurturing, sensitive emotional female

So I chose (2), and when asked "why not (1)?", I said, "because the male will most likely leave, eventually, for a higher paying job."

And Prints was trying to hide her appalled look and didn't say anything for a few seconds. And the lecture group didn't say anything for a few seconds either. Then some small voice whispered, "that's sexist", and then the whole class started murmuring. It was so entertaining. So. I suppose you must be wondering why I said that. Because I'm sexist, obviously!

Ok not really. But I thought it isn't too far from what might be a possibility. A male who's competitive won't really last long in social work because they isn't really anyone to compete with except yourself. I mean, he can't possibly compete with the client right? Nor can he compete in terms of "I closed my case faster than you, hah! (complete with smug look)". With that kind of personality, he'll probably find his satisfaction somewhere else.

Maybe I'm really sexist. Or maybe it's true. Either way, it was cool because people actually reacted, for once, and started talking.

But something strange is happening to me. It's like, out of the blue, after not speaking more than two sentences per module per semester, I've suddenly found my voice. Previously, I used to think the questions the lecturers asked had such obvious answers there had to be a catch somewhere, which might explain why everyone took so long to answer, but I think this semester I found that there is no catch, and if the questions get answered, the lecture moves on faster. Even if they get answered shockingly, something happens, instead of the infuriating silence. It's rather exciting really - I get to see what happens when people don't hear the politically correct things, and it's almost funny. I know it sounds mean and utterly evil, but I figured, there are only a few more semesters left, I might as well have fun.