Death and Dying; a mishmash of quotes on

So I got a forcibly imposed break, because after spouting rubbish for the Esplanade Gig, and carrying my cello around too much in the rain, I'm down with a angrily inflamed throat. Incredible feat, but I think these are all signs of premature aging, or the wearing down of a freakily tired body. Tomorrow's the last day of the Esplanade performance, and after that I'll get a break for a while more, until rehearsals resume for the January 10th NUS Chamber Concert. And then there's another NAFA concert on 22nd Jan. And there's the 2nd Feb Cricket Club gig. Ok enough of the depressing stuff already!

What I've been doing in my 'holidays': reading and watching (more) DVDs. I just needed some non physical activity that allows me to stone out. So I've read, so far:

1. Bram Stoker's "Dracula" (finally), which is fantabulous because I find myself identifying with the Count himself. I quote,

"I seek not gaiety or mirth, nor the bright voluptuousness of much sunshine and sparkling waters which please the young and gay. I am no longer young and my heart, through weary years of mourning over the dead, is not attuned to mirth... I love the shade and the shadow, and would be alone with my thoughts when I may" [Dracula]

"I am too miserable, too low spirited, too sick of the world and all in it, including life itself, that I would not care if I heard this moment the flapping of the wings of the angel of death." [Dr Seward]

My sentiments exactly.

2. Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters./Seymour an Introduction - J.D. Salinger
I can't remember anything of the book. Except that it was about a wedding, and Seymour the groom didn't turn up for the wedding, but ended up eloping with the bride eventually. Seymour is quite the anti hero, a bit like Holden from "Catcher in the Rye".

3 & 4. Underground and Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami
I don't know why I keep reading/re-reading his books, but the whole clean feel of the narrative (that takes the edge of the cynicism and world-weariness of his protagonists), makes him somewhat of a palate-cleanser. I quote, again,

"In the midst of life, everything revolved around death"

"He could charge forward, the optimistic leader, even as his heart writhed in a swamp of loneliness...He lived in his own special hell."

5. Specimen Days - Michael Cunningham
It's wonderful to see how Cunningham weaves 3 separate stories around Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass", which is an equally, if not more cathartic read. (The words are drying up so I'll let the text do the talking.)

"Living was a temporary inconvenience and death her true and only home"

5. Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman
Like most good poetry, it allows for multiple readings, and to describe it further would not do justice to its essence, breadth and depth. (Just another excuse not to write anything that would no doubt make me look foolish and unenlightened.) In line with the theme of this post though, it is necessary to quote, so,

"To die is different from what anyone supposes, and luckier".

6. Love in a Blue Time - Hanif Kureishi

"Happiness was beyond him and everything was coming down...life could not be grasped but only lived." Very hedonistic, Dorian Gray-like!

"Suicide is one way of saying you're sorry" Well, I suppose you can read "sorry" as "sad case" too. However, that would be dismissive to the tragedy behind each suicide case, which is not allowed for social workers-to-be, I presume. (But since I'm not, I have license to say it. *sniggers*)

That's all for now. I haven't got too far with the reading yet, and there are so many more books that are lying untouched on my shelf. December is too short.