spectre

So developments have occured since I last posted, and now the pastor is officially taking over as Music Director though he does not know anything about music. But I suppose as long as I don't have to work with BigMama anymore I'll be less distracted with having to keep tabs on her mood and such. Divine intervention is always great. Although I wonder how long before new problems come up. One has always to be prepared for the worst.

Did some snooping and heard that BigMama is actually happy with this outcome, and thinks her prayers have been answered. That's good. I suppose having all this 'power' as music director and not being able to do anything with it must have been frustrating. 'Disempowered' is the word. The grand sounding title must have held many promises. But titles are titles. They come laden with expectations too.

But really, I think her consuming need to possess the choir, yet not being able to do it explains much of her behaviour.

(Is all this rationalising of her behaviour helping me in any way?)

She has the same birthday as me. How freaky is that. Every day I see her, I think of what I could possibly become, or what I already am, and I am terrified.