corrinne may

is awesome. Her records don't do justice to her voice at all. Today we had our first eight-piece ensemble rehearsal with her, for the NUS Arts Fest concert, and her voice and piano is really to die for. It's the kind of music that makes you space out and sigh, curl up and die. It liquefies your insides.

Both she and Kavin are very down-to-earth people, and they're so comfortable to play for. I know it sounds weird , this description. What in the world is 'comfortable' right? It's not just the absence of heart palpitations and sweaty palms. It's the ability to breathe and play, to have fun while not losing focus.

Ok, not really. You lose focus all the time when she starts a new song.

At first I thought it was just that I was getting used to the whole gig playing thing.(Today I've somehow earned the unflattering nickname of 'gig player'). Or maybe it's because I'm actually getting to know my cello better the way you grow into knowledge of your partner. But it isn't that either.

I have never played 'serious' solo cello with piano on any other occasion other than the Grade 8 exam; church hymns don't really count because they're quite easy. And now due to unforseen circumstances I've to play numerous songs alone (i.e without all the other strings), and it's a rather nerve wrecking experience. Or so I think, considering all tickets for both nights have been sold out. But I feel strangely still.

Ok, not quite, I still grimace when I run out of bow, flub the weird syncopations, forget to play accidentals, and screw up intonation (all of which happened today), but it's this still water feeling that I can't shake.

Maybe it's because I haven't recovered from the trauma of knocking over my cello and seeing it crash land on the ground when I left the house today. Everything seems like it's happening in a haze - there was the sudden reminder that nothing is predictable and every minute alive is divine grace.

Weird. It feels as if my brain is making random connections (as always), and right now the only thing that's on my mind is waking up early enough to listen to the tracks again, practice practice and practice and hope my cello teacher forgives me for neglecting the gross Walton Passacaglia that I'm supposed to be learning.