I suppose there are tons of articles on festive season depression, but identifying reasons for it and thus rationalising it into a manageable pathological state doesn't make it better. Orchard Road is insanely packed on weekends, the lights are jarring - too many colours vying for attention become an unwelcome distraction. Halfway through crossing a road, a tourist stops and takes the traffic and the lights. Another balances his mini tripod on a traffic light pole trying to take pictures above the heads of human traffic. The huge decorations that pipe Christmas carols have "Danger High Voltage" signs stuck all over them, and I wonder why they bother with those signs, when it's a direct way to celebrating Christmas forever.
It's the season to get married, the season where the country clubs hold huge parties for children separated into age groups, the season for indiscriminate spending and whatever else. Too many things to do, too many rehearsals, too many carols, too many people to meet even if you don't feel like it, too many smiles to distribute. It isn't difficult to acquire a laughless smile.
The rest of the year will be spent waiting for something better. But it's the ambivalent sense of restless un-belonging and the need to cling on to things I feel are already slipping away that's killing.
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