missing

THE Quartet is on hiatus for 2 weeks, because all three of the other members are taking their diploma exams ( while I struggle with the different ways of getting my vibrato wrong), and I realised that it's one of the longest breaks from each other that we've taken since May.

The first violin says, "Hah, you're going to miss us!"

And strangely enough I think I have to agree. I once told someone that I don't miss people easily. Thus everytime I say the phrase "I miss you!" in an sms or an MSN conversation, it's more a reminder to myself to miss the person more. I never say the phrase to the people I'm really close to, I realised, maybe because of a deep unwillingness to tie myself down to any one person in particular. Or rather, I refuse to acknowledge any sort of dependency.

Missing a person is paralysingly depressing, and there are too many things constantly demanding attention that I don't have time to miss anyone. On the other hand, maybe I just keep myself suffocatingly busy so that I don't have time to think/feel and do all the other messily human things, like the L*** word.

Then again, the fact that I'm writing this entry might mean that *gasp*, I'm actually missing people. Or missing things. Or appendages. Or whatever.