tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57083332011-08-29T22:11:43.212+08:00"What are these words, these words? They are plopping like mud." -Sylvia Plathelizabethnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3641100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-2453423852285492162010-12-02T17:59:00.000+08:002010-12-02T17:59:41.506+08:00

Considering the amount of retail therapy I've been up to, it feels like something's missing and I'm trying to fill a black hole but I'm not sure what, maybe it's just a substitute for eating. Just discovered the joys of threadless tees but it is a scary place because I end up randomly clicking and I have never spent so much on t-shirts ever. But the shirts really feel like second skin. Now, on

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-74881393431606786862010-11-02T15:02:00.000+08:002010-11-02T15:02:23.683+08:00

Had 2 weeks of non-productive holidays, the suffocating need to practise seems to have left me since the cello exam, like an exorcised demon. It doesn't help that Cello Yoda is out of the country for 3 weeks. My practising has been shaved down to Carl Flesch, Sevcik and Popper, basically the therapeutic technical stuff. And thank God I passed with distinction beyond the wildest of my dreams,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-65990334477563384882010-10-09T16:13:00.000+08:002010-10-09T16:13:40.392+08:00

It is on days like these that I feel I need this. Not Starbucks per se because their coffee is not great. Just the caffeine IV drip.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-24371472836957425192010-10-08T21:48:00.001+08:002010-10-08T21:52:00.638+08:00

I can't help posting this here, it's too funny, scarily tragic, and too true.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-77565351356425003172010-09-18T11:18:00.000+08:002010-09-17T23:18:59.640+08:00

最（近）想见的人（都）生病了。

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-36204765434447582142010-09-17T16:40:00.002+08:002010-09-17T16:57:10.321+08:00

There's this huge board in the room where I teach, and it attracts the scribbles. Collected quite a few photos, taken before and after the summer. From one student to another. "Panick" (sic)  Came in one morning and discovered this. "Gossip Girl" influence is strong in this one. Hieroglyphics! T'was difficult to decipher all the links. Maybe it was meant to be random.  The compulsive Board

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-78194542695311107662010-09-12T10:10:00.002+08:002010-09-17T16:54:30.326+08:00

What I'm watching at the moment - The Good Wife, Covert Affairs, Lie to Me, Rizzoli and Isles, Dexter, Modern Family, Big Bang Theory. What I plan to watch - (I have to downsize my list soon, I realised I inadvertently started watching lot of other series during the summer drought, and now have too many to follow when the fall season starts. But am definitely going to watch Glee, Greys Anatomy,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-61004744872060446732010-09-10T14:17:00.000+08:002010-09-10T14:17:20.419+08:00

I just realised I might have played through my exam with a cracked bow. Hmm. Now I technically don't have anything to practise for, except next week's lesson. But I realised practising is quite therapeutic, especially when you have to block out mental clutter and practise 4 bars for 30 minutes - time disappears. The thrill lies in the process of finding out different solutions to a problem,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-84846562884095926512010-09-05T14:33:00.000+08:002010-09-05T14:33:13.260+08:00

I didn't know you were there until you were gone. I didn't know the toll you took on me until you left and I suddenly felt so much lighter, liberated from your insidious clutches. Stress, you were the partner I never knew I had, but I'm so glad I'm done with you now, for the moment.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-7601483393376670212010-08-09T14:26:00.000+08:002010-08-09T14:26:43.057+08:00

Watched Salt and loved it. Maybe it's just my penchant for secret agents and stuff. (Have also started watching Covert Affairs the TV show). Inception took itself way too seriously for it to be any fun, but the characters were quite well explored. Holidays are ending in a week and I reckon it's about time because I'm getting fat with all the eating. For example Cappuccino at Black@

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-70903052364943780822010-06-01T23:48:00.000+08:002010-06-01T23:48:00.866+08:00

One day in the past week, I had two students who came separately for lessons, eyes watery, nose red, face drawn tight, one had mascara that did a good job of staying relatively waterproof. A lot of times I find myself doing a mental calibration of students' emotional states, and either matching it or responding from the other end of the spectrum. Most times they come not wanting to play anything

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-71981208033950681692010-05-20T21:44:00.000+08:002010-05-20T21:44:17.800+08:00

Is that I saw a squirrel run headlong into a car's tyre today. I stopped to watch it die, its tail beating frantically down on the road, as if the effort could catapult it away from the steady stream of cars, or signal a saviour. A few cars managed to avoid it, some strained themselves into awkward angles to maneuver their wheels to pass comfortably over it. One 4 wheel drive was too high above

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-81281268824999859212010-05-10T20:19:00.000+08:002010-05-10T20:19:58.639+08:00

Because this was too long to post in a twitter feed: Sometimes we make decisions thinking everything around us will remain the same But those decisions might just make everything change. Butterfly effect, or 'the garden of forking paths' a la one of the Flashforward episodes.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-76631897592998219342010-01-29T22:10:00.000+08:002010-01-29T22:10:32.405+08:00

Summary of the past two weeks in pictures, because I have run out of words after too much emailing and being sociable. the day before the Bone Marrow Donor Foundation Gala Dinner The plus side to doing a gig at Mandarin is... Got there early and beat the infamous queue, but by the time we left there was quite a long one. Nice soup, super thin noodles. It works for those on a diet. It

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-18064252041898334212010-01-16T23:24:00.001+08:002010-01-16T23:24:49.411+08:00

Apparently spammers have been very interested in leaving random advertising comments on this blog which is why I'm back again, writing. First week of school and already I have become some sort of loanshark chasing up bounced cheques and unpaid bills. Some students have suddenly become hardworking and focused. Others are their usual distracted selves. Spent half of the day writing out the cello

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-42413860529311415622010-01-09T22:55:00.000+08:002010-01-09T22:55:21.097+08:00

How long before a blog gets shut down due to neglect? What a hopeful way to start the first blog post of the year. The transition into the year felt like labour pains - not like I would know what that feels like but I venture to imagine. Three holidays in a row - Desaru Penang and Hong Kong - the last proved to be the killer. I have reached the conclusion that Hong Kong's food, although

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-23528447193520827502009-10-15T14:49:00.000+08:002009-10-15T14:49:41.831+08:00

(As usual I've been tending to the quartet blog and left this space derelict. Apparently someone says the latest post is not so PG. Really?) Have been hoarding TV shows since the summer TV drought. Pushing Daisies and Monk in particular. However I finally got down to watching Greys Anatomy Season 6's premiere; it's really a gem for anyone grieving, the kind of thing to recommend for movie

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-53823963987335587082009-09-08T22:31:00.003+08:002009-09-08T23:01:24.270+08:00

The huge gunmetal grey metal gates rattled open. Grey concrete floors. More gates. The place looks like an old school, the only difference is that there are policemen sprinkled in corners, and plainclothes chaperones.The boys sitting on the floor sprung up at the order and greeted us; it was rather disconcerting to be addressed as 'mam'. The stage was immediately in our face, a shallow stage,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-67736957129772062872009-08-23T19:15:00.003+08:002009-08-23T19:17:04.412+08:00

Maybe this might be considered musician suicide, but having been the prodigal Christian for way too long it's embarrassing, I need to start reclaiming my Sundays and be resolute about the 'no work' thing.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-23521258753240750862009-08-03T23:38:00.003+08:002009-08-03T23:50:06.226+08:00

Recently resurrected my Diablo2 expansion game, after discovering the Mac OSX native installer from Blizzard Tech Support site. A bit late, especially since I remember playing it on my previous ibook that was running on OS X as well.Realised that at significant points of my life I play the game, to release stress, or unexpressed aggression. Played it A LOT during A levels, during university exams

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-88576352762905362602009-07-29T23:38:00.004+08:002009-07-29T23:50:04.406+08:00

Tramped around Ion Orchard today with my cello, which turned out to be not a very good idea because the place is freaking huge and the human traffic, even at 2 ish pm in the afternoon, is considerably heavy, especially for the food basement.The place has a very new smell, like that of unworn shoes, or excessive air freshener in hotel lobbies. The shops are a variation on the same theme of

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-74131398546413466792009-07-28T23:59:00.002+08:002009-07-29T00:20:36.504+08:00

Walked into a music shop today to get cello supplies and books, and stumbled into a conversation continued by staff members walking around regarding a difficult customer. Didn't think much of it until when I was talking to the luthier (instrument repairer), suddenly he exclaimed "This one!" - to the person manning the cash register.Dark glances were thrown around the shop like those invisible

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-68203895973115681962009-07-10T00:06:00.002+08:002009-07-10T00:22:01.582+08:00

One more day from being parentless in Singapore. Mother's flying to Tanzania to join my dad.Quite looking forward to it, apart from the lack of food. But heck, any excuse to lose weight is a good excuse.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-17943376629946651642009-06-18T22:34:00.002+08:002009-06-18T22:51:13.301+08:00

Have been distracted from this space largely because Twitter is so much more convenient, takes up less brain juice, and Tweetdeck is parked nicely on my desktop. Have contemplated taking up a new blog address, given a series of unfortunate events that I think have subconsciously made me stop blogging. But anyway.End of a crazy term and first day into break, I spend 3 hours sitting/sliding in a

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-20377755990594143412009-05-28T23:22:00.002+08:002009-05-28T23:35:28.880+08:00

Recently discovered how Banana Republic's tees feel like a second skin. Bought 6 different colours of the same design which on hindsight now appear a bit excessive, but the overheated climate brings out a bit of craziness, among other things.Decided to walk home instead of taking the train (or 2 buses), a decision which I regretted halfway into the walk because I was carrying my cello as well and

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-89352387060595715592009-05-23T21:50:00.002+08:002009-05-23T22:20:26.296+08:00

23 days since the last post.Recently read:1. Stella Duffy's Singling out the Couples - postmodern fairy tale chick lit. Deconstructed the happy ending. 2. Toni Morrison's A Mercy - I tried Beloved, then Bluest Eye, then this, and after this I've officially given up. She writes beautifully, but I can't really connect with the whole slave trade/plight thing.3. Alex Garland's Coma - read this if

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-69199024586632833272009-05-01T21:43:00.003+08:002009-05-01T21:51:35.835+08:00

Had the most amazing time at Jakarta, not because of what we did (waited for a long long time to play a bit of music), but because of the quality of conversations with certain people. I think it is in the moments of inactivity, when there is nothing to do and nothing to be done and nowhere to go, when you really get down to the act of knowing people you might have seen for many years. And in one

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-90200495920781460872009-04-21T23:20:00.002+08:002009-04-22T00:05:44.798+08:00

So the founding pastor of the Bible Presbyterian movement dies and at the vigil service, I saw faces of old acquaintances from the church before the split. Interesting that death brings people of polar positions together, even if only for 2 hours, even if it's all just a matter of obligation.The BP movement can probably be considered really fundamentalist (the term has taken quite a bashing

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-71455338000435759732009-04-18T22:33:00.004+08:002009-04-18T22:47:04.969+08:00

Once in a while, I meet up with someone, meander a certain distance - today from esplanade to people's park - along the way eat, talk lots, and buy loads of random stuff (not really thinking about what I am buying, distracted by conversation). It is good therapy, especially if said company is not one of the many faces I mandatorily meet at rehearsals.Central is still a nice place on weekends,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-75030896545948824862009-04-11T16:17:00.004+08:002009-04-11T16:32:15.961+08:00

The downside of MSN Gtalk Facebook chat is that you take so long to communicate so little. The responses you get are probably mentally censored so many times, further obfuscated by emoticons that are more often than not the opposite of the genuine facial expressions. In short, you get a response that is a projection of what the other person thinks is a desirable response. On the other hand you

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-65135140803690845442009-04-03T23:36:00.005+08:002009-04-06T14:40:55.938+08:00

Highlight of the week:playing with music instruments via a multi touch table in an engineering lab.And already it is Friday night,last free night of the week!Haven't eaten at Sunshine Plaza in ages. This is the stall with the numerous celeb photos on the glass doors. The noodles are ok, (and I never thought I'd say this), but insufficient.Night and Day@SelegieThe emptiest place I've ever seen on

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-89323676447466593712009-03-31T23:43:00.003+08:002009-03-31T23:58:00.488+08:00

The engineering faculty is grey and quiet, the kind of heavy silence weighed down by brains moving, eyes running past lines of code and numbers. A kind of mechanical functionality pervades the place, people dress functional and talk in abbreviations, (if they talk at all). The most striking thing was the silence though. In artsfac there is this general buzz that you eventually get used to and

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-40042971965625997282009-03-26T22:56:00.002+08:002009-03-26T23:01:18.742+08:00

Today at cello lesson (first in a really long time!), CelloGrandMaster asks if I practiced XX thing.I said "I guess, kinda"She replied, "Now you are talking like the (KoolBlueSkool) kids!"oh no.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-66275401927308366552009-03-25T22:58:00.002+08:002009-03-25T23:15:25.155+08:00

With two weeks of impending break (starting tomorrow), I figured I have the luxury of time to engage in yet another apparently time-wasting activity a.k.a Twitter.I never figured out what the point was in posting status updates incessantly. Even filling in the blank status update bar in Facebook has sometimes proven to be stumping, because the information entered has to somehow straddle the space

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-37051481662364349982009-03-23T23:05:00.002+08:002009-03-23T23:15:54.475+08:00

is antsy she can't get into facebookis counting down to the end of term (2 more days)is quite impressed with a few of her studentsis picking up the messy pieces of other studentsis considering twittering because the facebook page isn't loadingdoesn't know what to do now.thinks quitting facebook might be harder than quitting a person.thinks quitting a person might be harder than quitting

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-23296508681375791232009-03-19T20:06:00.003+08:002009-03-19T20:47:52.155+08:00

For once, home before the sun set, showered off all the hairspray junk, wiped and scrubbed the layers off my face, ate dinner slowly, all before 8 pm. It is a good day and I never knew it took so little to make me happy.What we don't have is what we want the most.So it was a crazy past few weeks, with Palace Ghosts and Hoffman and quartet filming all in a row, but now it's finally over, and the

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-17067404267848083162009-03-15T00:57:00.002+08:002009-03-15T01:02:07.714+08:00

eyes arms body brain screaming for a break.two more days of the *cough*man opera.tonight was one messy show.audience was huge.citylink jampacked with bodies ambling through the tunnel.temperature is up in the tunnel, and in the theatre pitthe lights are dimthe rain perforates the windows.need the sun.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-68822891349027657142009-03-12T22:31:00.004+08:002009-03-12T23:08:17.039+08:00

Occassionally my students will ask "Am I your worst student?" Those who ask that question are usually the better ones."Better" means those who actually want to learn the cello and don't mind being taught. Of course, if they practice, that's a definite bonus, but I have resigned myself to the fact that nobody has time to practice.Now, theoretically, there should be no "worst student" because why

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-12302960258747423342009-02-19T23:31:00.004+08:002009-02-20T00:01:37.628+08:00

They asked for my CV, I sent. They asked for referees, I gave. They asked for an interview, I went.But now I think I am not going to take up the offer.I asked if they had other applicants from the newspaper ads they put out. There was a dossier, labelled "Cello position 09". Inside, the top sheet was a foolscap paper with my name written on it, with other penciled words. They said "You're the top

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-27056035907394434602009-01-31T23:48:00.003+08:002009-02-01T00:25:30.094+08:00

25 things matter only if you are1. someone who is normally not open, and now feels the need to disclose more of the hidden self.2. someone who is normally open, but in different ways to different people - 25 things becomes a lowest common denominator disclosure3. boredI am a bit of each, hence doing this now.(can I start at 4.?!)1. I sleep on my stomach2. I sleep on a normally empty and sometimes

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-45144510708026893742009-01-22T11:23:00.003+08:002009-01-22T11:33:09.460+08:00

Have been busy in one way or another since the last blog-outing, what with George Lam and school re-opening and doing up the CV again to answer email requests.I didn't need to go to other schools to know that KoolBlueSkool is probably the best school to teach at, although the latest one, let's call it GreenFan, looks decent. That aside, they tried to hard sell teaching piano and ukelele, which

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-33249767017828681002008-12-28T23:10:00.002+08:002008-12-28T23:45:33.167+08:00

见面时没什么话说，网上交谈时却淘淘不觉。持续了几天，睡觉时间延迟 （但也未免是件坏事）。反正现在时间多的很， 不防交新朋友。想不到放长假竟然会有点无聊。

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-41641213910866531652008-12-28T20:47:00.008+08:002008-12-28T22:57:25.131+08:00

Past performances. Photos unpublished. People I hang out with.I do this photo blogging thing so much more often on quartet blog, though with a largely different tone. Recently stumbled on a folder labelled "phone pics" and found stuff I snapped in my free and very bored moments.Mendelssohn's St Paul's Oratorio in Johor. The most arduous concert I've played in my whole cello life.My cello is in

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-76857113913039756462008-12-27T11:32:00.002+08:002008-12-27T22:46:10.072+08:00

Hot cello part! "The Hotel Cafe's Winter Songs" is great for getting into the end-of-the-year bleak and cold mood. And a lot of the Grey's Anatomy breakout singer/songwriter stars feature in this album e.g. Kate Havnevik, Priscilla Ahn, Ingrid Michaelson, Brandi Carlile, KT Tunstall, Fiona Apple. Yay.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-14164594491473051672008-12-23T20:01:00.002+08:002008-12-23T20:13:25.202+08:00

Read the "Beyond Boundaries" review in the papers this morning and was so relieved I was unconsciously smiling throughout the rest of the day. Re:mix the 'hottest crossover'?!! The group is so fun to play with.So friends' facebook statuses feature 'beyond boundaries' in all its permutations and underlying meanings/insights/revelations, and all of a sudden it occured to me that re:mix is all about

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-46654949885831102052008-12-22T17:58:00.002+08:002008-12-22T18:18:19.582+08:00

凌晨一点半。花了三十分中泄妆，洗掉喷发剂， 从硬邦邦的头发中拔出了十只发夹。眼睛红了－ 眼线膏跑进眼睛了吗？（化妆师其实蛮不错的啦。）妈妈早就睡着了。晚上的演出比下午的好玩，大家也显得比较轻松。为了没去教堂而感到一点愧疚。太累了, 睡觉。早晨十点起床，发现昨晚是这星期内首次在梦里没听见新谣，ABBA, 或 Beyond 的歌。

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-86029652998591707302008-11-27T14:55:00.002+08:002008-11-27T15:10:04.747+08:00

Am beginning to think I'm either not eating enough or eating too much, or ingesting too much unhealthy vibes, what with this constant twice in a row attack of stomach flu (though to different degrees). Left school after 1 hour because by the second student I was staring into space and wondering why the lights were too bright and the room was spinning.Went home and slept and missed my appointed

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-44311866168956417382008-11-21T23:41:00.003+08:002008-11-21T23:57:16.716+08:00

After the concert, I realised it was my first time playing in a quartet at Victoria concert Hall. And it was not even with artsylum. +s. It was a good thing I didn't think about it until I went on stage and saw many many pairs of eyes (including one pair that belonged to my dad's cousin. gasp.) And then it was too late. The other players were pretty great. I flipped open the program and realised

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-71867680245947141172008-11-13T23:47:00.003+08:002008-11-14T00:02:52.028+08:00

It is 11 pm and it feels like my day has just begun.Maybe because the final run of 9templegraffiti went phenomenally, in that everything made sense, the dance movements were readable, the chemistry was palpable, and more than everything it was probably the most fun thing I've ever done since I started playing the cello.Deconstructing fun: We went in blind, and the 3 exploration sessions saw us

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-55966330253195501242008-11-13T14:50:00.002+08:002008-11-13T15:09:23.887+08:00

Before my free day turns into a totally wasted do nothing day (although "doing nothing" does not always equal "wasted"), I've decided to blog. (As if these words contribute towards the day's productive output.)(Then again it's not really a 'free day'- I still have to teach for one hour and perform at night.)Today will be the second and final day of the "9 Temple Graffiti" run. Yesterday was a lot

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-91483339129353294082008-11-11T23:13:00.002+08:002008-11-11T23:14:33.044+08:00

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-18359008243360344272008-10-29T21:06:00.004+08:002008-10-29T23:12:00.814+08:00

These black glasses have small holes that let in pinpricks of light. I don't know what they are supposed to be used for - I suppose, as glasses, or plastic-es - but they were lying around the house for some time.Being bored on the one hand, and on the other hand suffering from intolerable headaches each time I wear my normal glasses, I decided to try this on. I suppose it acts like the compound

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-70946223305331098552008-10-24T22:33:00.003+08:002008-10-24T22:58:40.143+08:00

(This is in relation to people we share love-hate relationships with).It is so much easier to express anger and annoyance than affection. I reckon this has to do with the balance of power. When one is angry with another, it implies superiority. The Other did something wrong, or wronged you in some way, and expressing anger - explicitly or passive-aggressively - is a way of claiming reparations,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-17767720759489567072008-10-23T22:01:00.000+08:002008-10-24T22:30:35.142+08:00

First the ring, and then in the space of 1 week, two of the black rubber bands I wear around my wrist for no particular reason snapped. If each symbolised a relationship, I cannot identify which one is it that still remains, because I have effectively sequestered myself from any social contact other than rehearsals and teaching.Soon I'll make my way to buy some more, to replace the broken. (Not

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-72502766876563355162008-10-22T17:35:00.002+08:002008-10-22T17:48:57.295+08:00

Had quartet masterclass today. For the uninitiated, it's where you play a piece and get constructive criticism from the String Masters. Our quartet seems to attract the cellist types. Our coach today was the cellist from the F. Quartet, and our normal coach is Leslie The Cellist.Blogging about the thing is too boring, save to say that it was fun, we played too fast and too furiously. Now I'm

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-25973606376656030662008-10-16T16:42:00.002+08:002008-10-16T16:59:20.692+08:00

Taught for one hour.Ate Ajisen Ramen with brudder and lamented on the falling food quality.Esprit factory outlet-ed.Bumped into a friend with her nieces and dad and maid.Sloshed through puddles in the rain, iced coffee in hand.Stopped to look at this fuschia pink, spiky ball of a flower.Took so long to walk back that my wet clothes dried out in the process.Ahhh, the life.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-13449029119758979352008-10-15T00:23:00.003+08:002008-10-15T00:34:42.984+08:00

It broke today, into unequal halves (an oxymoron). A part of it glinted on the floor, the other half slipped onto the stand. I knew the break was coming - I noticed that it had cracked a few weeks ago, and it was just a matter of time.The finger feels unfamiliarly light.Rings supposedly symbolise eternity, this one apparently didn't get the memo.I picked up the broken pieces and threw them

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-21739621679488226492008-10-05T18:05:00.003+08:002008-10-05T18:18:53.961+08:00

After doing up the quartet blog, I thought that this blogskin really needed some updating considering how old and tired it feels (or at least I feel). Random skin surfing, I saw some really nice skins, but with too many links; others were too angsty, or too relationship-y, or just airhead-y. In short, there was nothing I saw that I liked, or was willing to use.I figure blogskins can swing both

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-23996877498108251072008-09-19T19:44:00.002+08:002008-09-19T19:47:10.264+08:00

Jack & Rai Live @ Timbre Music Festival, 24th September 2008, 830pm! get your tickets @ www.gatecrash.com.sg or any Timbre Outlets! http://www.jackandrai.com

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-60448576381413762282008-09-16T23:16:00.003+08:002008-09-16T23:31:47.075+08:00

My brother in the army calls me up from IMH today and tells me about the exciting life he is leading escorting his mentally unstable and sedated charge around."That's the social worker's life", I say - the life I am not leading.But half the lesson, my student spends talking about her parents' impending divorce, and later I discuss suicide methods with the angsty teen who heard his schoolmate

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-86283905176951916792008-09-14T23:15:00.002+08:002008-09-15T00:05:20.515+08:00

In one of those chats I have with my students between lessons, or when they are packing/unpacking their cellos, they sometimes volunteer information on what they want to be when they grow up.(They say "I want to be a vet/pilot/etc when I grow up", equating their adult identity with their occupation)And I realised that what I am doing now never featured in my childhood ambitions (that ranged from

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-58599171129233361902008-09-02T15:24:00.003+08:002008-09-02T15:44:26.434+08:00

Today I taught for one hour and went home to bum around, watch gossip girl, and I'm starting to think I could get used to this life. It's been quite good, so good in fact it feels like if I'm going to rave about it I might jinx it and it might be lost forever.It's not always this relaxing, (now I have to make a qualifier in case I incur the wrath or jealousy or envy of those hard at work). There

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-77828005051904968222008-08-26T23:33:00.004+08:002008-08-26T23:40:46.164+08:00

Playing for 3 minutes to eat a multi-course western dinner at Meritus Mandarin is not a bad deal at all. Cured salmon, crab cakes, miso sharks fin soup, trout roe, chicken stuffed with foie gras and chesnuts, an atas-sounding TimeOut chocolate-like dessert, chempedak parfait, handmade chocolates with musical notes printed on the top - the works.I am getting fed and fat.To make up for it I shall

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-5526055097383455312008-08-20T22:57:00.003+08:002008-08-20T23:01:05.900+08:00

During orchestral break today I heard a cellist go through an entire cello 'recital'. Bach! Beethoven! Saint Saens! Elgar! All the famous concertos!Hearing the said person made me tired and hungry so I binged on 1 chocolate 1 walnut 1 almond 1 dried apricot 2 macadamia nuts and Vitagen.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-74721448400462516072008-08-17T22:58:00.007+08:002008-08-19T16:43:41.248+08:00

The flowers in the parks are astonishingly gorgeous. I didn't know I liked flowers until now. More flower shots can be found in my Facebook photo album 'voyeuristic in the park(s)'.There is a lot more space, a lot more sky, a lot less people littering the parks unlike in Your Sunny Isle.One of the many sketching artwork in the galleries. I wonder why people sketch rather than take a photo. Isn't

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-17004954233936848312008-08-16T18:09:00.002+08:002008-08-16T18:19:15.516+08:00

Two days after touching down in Singapore I get an email asking me to do a literature review for articles to substantiate some claims that Dr X made. Five and a half fruitless hours later, I have found more articles against Dr X's arguments. Articles that support Dr X's view - a grand total of zero. I am now wondering if the London trip has damaged my article search skills beyond repair, or if Dr

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-12094115615753445342008-07-25T11:56:00.003+08:002008-07-25T12:01:47.482+08:00

And I'm off, finally, hopefully not for good. It's been a crazy past few weeks, what with the research that makes me feel like things haven't changed since last June, except that this time I'm taking a 12 hour flight to London instead of a 5 hour one to Hong Kong. The last two nights of Tango made me really want to get a break from my cello, to let it rest, to get my bow rehaired (eventually). I

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-66765770550994544152008-07-12T21:29:00.002+08:002008-07-12T21:46:24.334+08:00

Coffee Showcase along East Coast Road is great, more for the ambience and the service than the food. The second level has such a nicely high ceiling, suitable for the claustrophobes. The day I was there I finally walked down Joo Chiat Road, not having done so since I was 14, and now I am slowly connecting roads and bus routes in my mind, because the East is virgin territory, and slightly

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-30981848620662894112008-07-05T23:17:00.005+08:002008-09-02T15:47:39.021+08:00

Books Bought: The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge by Rilke.I haven't read anything of Rilke, although I have heard much and read some quotes of his, so this is general education.Graphic Novels: Persepolis, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Y the Last Man Book 10. Persepolis! Been wanting to read it but have been lagging as usual, until I bummed into MPH at Novena and bought it on a whim because they

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-74027124770932041732008-06-23T00:00:00.004+08:002008-06-23T00:23:47.566+08:00

It's been a while. In the space between the last blog post and this one I have traipsed to the East side of Singapore, namely Hot Siglap, which was made hotter with good company, previously known as the LateNightAstrologer but is now known as KafkaFan. It's been a while since I got properly lost. Well I didn't exactly get lost either, considering hot Siglap is just one long stretch of road, but

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-85791661349877192522008-06-02T14:47:00.003+08:002008-06-02T15:46:34.233+08:00

It's been a great past month. Since the end of exams, stress levels have been relatively low, I've been keeping myself happy with reading and watching tv shows and sitcoms and practicing the cello and hanging out with the church kids for their holiday program and teaching. For a moment today, this blissful peace was rudely shattered by a series of phone calls.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-88314219337851405812008-05-09T18:22:00.002+08:002008-05-09T18:30:59.723+08:00

I have not known fear in recent years until yesterday when I couldn't log in to facebook, even after resetting my password. And when I tried to cheat and revisit pages from my browsing history, I came across my profile, and beside it, the link "Add as Friend". For a moment it felt like I was dead and was visiting the world, and seeing myself as others would see me, and the feeling of disconnect

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-70453256283269777022008-05-07T22:54:00.004+08:002008-05-07T23:09:11.753+08:00

And slowly the schedule is filling up with rehearsals and I am busier than I thought I would be.And I'm trying to get used to the trying-to-spend-time-with-parents thing before they leave for a protracted period of time to Tanzania, East Africa, land of mountain water, tea, ostrich eggs and uneaten shrimp. And I'm reading. Finished Kazuo Ishiguro's A Pale View of Hills today, to which my response

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-45848890888002649932008-05-04T21:34:00.002+08:002008-05-04T22:33:16.883+08:00

Books bought: The Kite Runner - Khaled HosseiniThe Custom of the Country - Edith WhartonA Home at the End of the World - Michael CunninghamLeaves of Grass - Walt WhitmanDavid Copperfield - Charles DickensI went back to ANA book store at Far East Plaza since they moved from the fourth to fifth floor and was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible but eventually the owner approached and asked me

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-4174641816820390122008-05-02T23:01:00.004+08:002008-05-02T23:23:12.409+08:00

My MSN chat has been down for a long time now, which explains my absence from that comfortable online community where I pretend to be 'Busy' or 'Away' to avoid conversation which defeats the purpose of going online except maybe to check out who is slacking like me. The less I do, the less I have to blog about. Have finished Veronica Mars First Season (Yes Meiling it took me one semester to

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-33591447373282242782008-04-30T20:38:00.002+08:002008-04-30T20:43:14.418+08:00

I am a journals junkie. Hanging out at JSTOR recently, I typed "Cello" in search and came up with many many articles it got me excited I went on to look up other random composers. So now I have about 99 articles on stuff ranging from Suzuki strings teaching to vibrato to Debussy Grieg Brahms Dvorak etc etc.I am hard pressed to read all of them but for now I shall contend with reading Gilead by

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-70200660385285472882008-04-28T23:21:00.003+08:002008-04-28T23:49:12.864+08:00

I did the geekiest thing today and compiled encyclopedic entries of most composers (of cello music). It's part of the whole getting out of school thing; since I didn't use the library as much as I should (I dislike the cold and there are always too many people and has this unhealthy mugging vibe).So I now have a file filled with composer biographies in sheet protectors that make me appear

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-66799867270321582092008-04-26T14:02:00.002+08:002008-04-26T14:17:24.255+08:00

It seems so surreal now that it's over but this is the official end of all the exams in 22 years of my sad and sorry student life. Goodbye thick and overpriced textbooks that only look good on the shelfGoodbye hours of photocopying in the cold that gives me unofficial qualifications as a photocopy shop assistant Goodbye studying in coffee joints and thick-skinnedly ignoring their 'No studying

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-85514613851697332082008-04-24T19:33:00.005+08:002008-04-24T20:11:16.392+08:00

Halfway through teaching the Korean student (let's call her Shimmer), she gets a call from her mum who called to make sure I didn't leave before she got back. I was momentarily overwhelmed by ominous foreboding but being pretty much clueless about what that was about I dismissed it and resumed the business of rearranging Shimmer's bowhold.Then the door opened and Shimmer's mum edged in, holding

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-54035083290699528482008-04-23T20:36:00.002+08:002008-04-23T20:44:14.994+08:00

So in my parents' preparations to go to Tanzania, I figure it's much like preparing for their deaths *touch wood*. In their absence I have to figure out forms and more forms, where to get stuff, how to cook stuff, basically how to not die when they are not around, and it is an exhilarating whirl of excitement that is liberating, because I'll have the house virtually to myself many many days a

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-75651858644190589622008-04-22T20:03:00.002+08:002008-04-22T20:23:15.228+08:00

After 2 hours of trying to make myself heard over 10 cellos I have lost my voice (again), and I never knew how much I needed it until I remember I don't stop teaching until...next Monday. Mondays are Voice Rest Days.Today I saw a stunning picture. Actually, make that 3 stunning pictures, like uncracked seashells among a bed of sharp rocks, the kind of photos that make you stop and stare, at the

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-73448763232184211602008-04-17T23:45:00.005+08:002008-04-20T00:04:44.846+08:00

Sectionals at the All White Girls School a.k.a SouthSea for the first time, and it was strange, coming from so many KoolPurple sectionals. For one, they did the 起立行礼坐下 (qi li xing li zuo xia i.e. stand bow sit) thing at which I was totally appalled so I told them not to do it. And then they were standing around at a loss. I felt bad for disrupting the ritual but it was too embarrassing. But the

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-29253785799080340602008-04-16T01:01:00.004+08:002008-04-23T20:46:00.503+08:00

After a while, after getting acculturated to the whole theatre business again, it doesn't seem that bad to be spending loads of time hanging around backstage, waiting for the lights the mics the spaces to be sorted out. Victoria Theatre is quite a cozy place, the backstage is spacious and dark enough to promote unrestrained self disclosure, because when we can't see the other we picture them in

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-26878962943225790122008-04-14T22:44:00.003+08:002008-04-14T23:22:17.825+08:00

So some people are playing for the Spotlight Singapore in Moscow thing, and my weekend nights were burnt for 4 hour rehearsals in which we played maybe for about one hour and spent the rest waiting around watching the play and eating Polar puffs (and getting fat).But the play is interesting. It features malay kampung boys, ice kachang, a peranakan woman, russian doll lookalike, random people in

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-50438987499914081622008-03-22T23:19:00.005+08:002008-03-23T00:03:44.477+08:00

The popular misconception is that I don't eat. Or I eat salad. The first is not true, the second is often true. Mostly, I hold to the policy not to eat rubbish calories that come in the form of carbs that taste blah (or have no taste whatsoever). Playing the cello makes me hungry, so I try to avoid playing before I eat. However for times like today, where dinner comes after rehearsal, my calorie

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-74122367772688897442008-03-18T16:37:00.002+08:002008-03-18T16:41:55.154+08:00

I had to write to celebrate the completion of the first draft of the thesis, I can't believe I actually 'finished' writing it, all 16000 plus words of it, and my mind is still ticking like a bomb. I should be happy, but I have this feeling it totally sucks and I will have to rewrite it sometime in the near future. It is a first draft after all. Now moving on to other things, like tomorrow's elder

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-71701303011107481082008-03-16T23:01:00.006+08:002008-03-17T21:27:54.308+08:00

Thesis is doing strange things to me.My wallpaper is of a girl, in water, sinking. The quartet is in the middle of a name change. We need a name, fast, so that we might register with ACRA, eventually, hopefully. Acronyms can't be registered, sadly. All names suggested will be seriously considered, as seriously as the way the police is responding to Mas Selamat Kastari sighting-calls. # some text

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-54193992463583230462008-02-28T22:40:00.001+08:002008-02-28T22:42:29.439+08:00

*Something I stumbled upon*It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-42252758681329916002008-02-19T23:58:00.003+08:002008-02-20T00:38:55.313+08:00

After three days of performance all I have to show for it is an aggravated tendon injury and my right thumb currently wrapped up. To have to choose between putting a cast or going for a steroid jab seems like a foregone conclusion - but the decision now stands as doing neither and just waiting the pain out. It seems to have made me a bit more cranky and off tangent and moody, almost as if I were

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-61636861901020798762008-02-12T00:38:00.001+08:002008-03-16T23:24:12.203+08:00

*ok the video has been taken down by youtube but it was 曹格－新不了情。*One of the pieces we're playing this weekend (15 to 17 Feb) at the esplanade concourse. 3 sets starting at 7 15 8 30 and 945 pm respectively. It's part of the Huayi Festival thingy - I'm so not into cheena music but this one is not bad. For those intending to come, the set with the best mix of music (I think) is the 9 45 pm one. Cos

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-15358624136066918402008-02-02T22:47:00.000+08:002008-02-02T23:08:52.576+08:00

Just finished playing in the Singapore Bible College concert and it was most hilarious. After the end of one movement, my desk partner's bow bumped into my peg and I heard the most awful sound ever, the sound of a slipping peg/unravelling string. And not one but two strings. So there was this awkward silence when I was deciding whether on not to go off stage and tune, but there was no 'off stage'

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-48423467470389547632008-02-01T23:29:00.000+08:002008-02-02T00:02:49.291+08:00

My first SSO concert in a long long long while. Sarah Chang playing Sibelius! The last classical concert I attended was by The Perfect Orchestra *straight face*, playing Sibelius (again) Symphonies.Sibelius Violin Concerto is the only violin work I like (talk about fidelity to the cello). That is despite having a pretty good violinist in the quartet who is always pulling out some tune or another

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-79855765094323855652008-01-14T21:33:00.000+08:002008-01-14T21:48:45.644+08:00

First day of the last semester of my life, and I reached the lecture theatre 40 minutes early, the only other person there happened to be RebondedHairOrganist. Surprisingly found that his favourite lecturer is WeirdSting my supervisor.It's a physics module, and I feel that my life has come full circle. Physics is such an apt subject to be slain by.Interviewed my 6th interviewee today. I realised

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-45855134272995818872007-12-29T23:14:00.000+08:002007-12-29T23:40:23.395+08:00

So thanks to the talks I have been having with friends, I have accumulated a fair amount of information on the workings of the underworld. And nowadays when I roam the streets I find myself taking a closer look at people, just observing.Today at City Hall MRT station, being the recluse that I am, I meandered to the far part of the station to wait for the train, where no other lonely souls were.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-1200584610583515032007-12-28T22:34:00.000+08:002007-12-28T22:42:11.170+08:00

"I want you to pu..." *pause*"I want you. haha."Freudian slip much.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Went out with 2 guys in 2 days, major accomplishment towards curing me of my workaholism."Don't pathologise everything", she says.But why not, when sickness is such a convenient excuse for everything. I am happily addicted to work.

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-34433724636392702342007-12-22T22:39:00.000+08:002007-12-28T22:33:33.825+08:00

Blogs are born out of necessity - to rant, to bitch or just, to process, externalise, articulate.Now that I have nothing in particular to get of my chest, in other words, not a very happening life, I have not much to blog about either. But that is just what I say. After all I am back, again.Let's talk about the clash of worlds.Not too long ago I met my supervisor by chance, at my student's house,

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-86378996820104743162007-12-13T01:13:00.001+08:002007-12-28T22:34:27.999+08:00

Spent today:in school for consultation to get dumped with a whole lot of work and readings and Stuffat koolpurpleskool teaching a grand total of one student - the other 2 didn't turn up.reading readings in a cold roomstruggling through stravinsky and mahler during orchestra, because I haven't gone in ages and this is some perverse retributionmessing up my schedule and triple booking myself

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-64398852717033062462007-11-30T21:35:00.000+08:002007-11-30T21:50:15.514+08:00

The 'periodic intensities' that I've always used to describe my life has now morphed into 'periodic' intensities. The 'intensity' is a constant; what changes is the nature of the intensity i.e. what type of activity.My life this semester, excluding the 5-modules stuff, started with SingaPopera followed by Cello Exam then came Thesis Proposal Presentation which was before Quartet Gig and then

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-46965441007027179262007-11-25T23:03:00.001+08:002007-11-25T23:13:09.852+08:00

Wandering around in Chinatown today for mid-exam retail therapy, I found this amazing place that sells Thirsty Hippo at $3.80, which is freakin cheap compared to Cold Storage's $5 plus plus plus. And besides, it sure beats waiting eons for stock to arrive (Cold Storage and everywhere else normally carries and big container for cupboards) while my cello gets wetter and wetter with the current

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708333.post-29649784261179264462007-11-24T11:22:00.001+08:002007-11-24T11:28:04.698+08:00

Before the reproductive health paper, a friend was telling me about how nice and understanding his honours year English lecturers were. One apparently cancelled the end-of-year exam and replaced it with a one hour test. Another gives them optional work.My department's lecturers on the other hand, cram 12 weeks worth of stuff into 3 weeks, insist on individual assignments and group assignments and

elizabethnoreply@blogger.com0