Period. (ic!). in. ten. cities

The 'periodic intensities' that I've always used to describe my life has now morphed into 'periodic' intensities. The 'intensity' is a constant; what changes is the nature of the intensity i.e. what type of activity.

My life this semester, excluding the 5-modules stuff, started with SingaPopera followed by Cello Exam then came Thesis Proposal Presentation which was before Quartet Gig and then there was Esplanade Concourse which was followed by SingaRaya, and then finally Exams. And amidst it all, who can forget the students from KoolPurpleSkool and others from Newton Tampines Alexandra and KentRidge.

Post exams, I have tons of stuff to look forward to, including, writing report cards for all the KoolPurpleSkool students, starting data collection for thesis, conducting two choir items and. Let's.Stop.There.Now.

It is therefore not amazing that I do not want to talk to anyone, don't care what I write on my exam papers, don't want to think about doing Anything Anymore except fill the rest of my days with a Blank Space full of no words and no people and no work.

A positive reframe would be 'You should be thankful you have the life and the energy to do these things'.

And my reply to that would be, "I'd rather be dead, thanks".

my practical find

Wandering around in Chinatown today for mid-exam retail therapy, I found this amazing place that sells Thirsty Hippo at $3.80, which is freakin cheap compared to Cold Storage's $5 plus plus plus. And besides, it sure beats waiting eons for stock to arrive (Cold Storage and everywhere else normally carries and big container for cupboards) while my cello gets wetter and wetter with the current weather. Yay.

grated

Before the reproductive health paper, a friend was telling me about how nice and understanding his honours year English lecturers were. One apparently cancelled the end-of-year exam and replaced it with a one hour test. Another gives them optional work.

My department's lecturers on the other hand, cram 12 weeks worth of stuff into 3 weeks, insist on individual assignments and group assignments and individual reflections, give no coursepacks unlike the nice sociology lecturers and are, in short, rather evil in comparison.

Probably they know that they aren't that easily dismissed because the department is so small and 'needs' them. Or maybe they've earned so much money lecturing that they don't need anymore. Or maybe they have taught for so many years that they are just looking for an excuse to leave so deliberately engineer their modules so they will get horrible student evaluations.

Still. It doesn't feel good to be victimised.

my studying vices

Pink vitagen
(hey this is free advertising!) It's not bad, am considering switching away from Yakult. Not that I drink both on a regular basis but it's such a novelty, suddenly.

Strawberry teeth-cleaning gum.
Fantastic for staving off hunger, plus chewing (verb.) gum apparently increases metabolism.

Manga
For the (many) times where too many English words fry my brain

Cocoa butter
perfect for satisfying chocolate cravings because you can keep smelling the chocolate without actually eating it and gaining calories. It's not super greasy so you won't get residue all over the computer keyboard or the cello.

The bane of my existence
everytime i start practicing i forget to stop. the worst distraction of all.

spiderweb

Recently one of my students left for messedupcello School, because I lived too far from his place for him to commute. And now he's not fantastically happy about his new teacher and I'm actually kind of worried because he showed Great Potential and it would be a waste if he didn't go further, faster.

And the Saturday that just passed I had a new student who came from messedupcello school, from said teacher, and she was very demonstrative in showing how she didn't like her.

I'm supposed to be studying but am still all over the place getting embroiled into the most unlikely networks of people. I'm not denying that politics and teaching aren't welcome distractions, though it does seem kind of perverse.

again again.

Taken by someone other than myself, on the third last day of freedom before mugging. I have never seen my hand from this angle before, so being in a narcissistic mood, tadaa.

Went to give a trial lesson to my Korean lecturer's daughter's best friend also from KoolPurpleSkool but wanting private lessons. Her mum had tons of questions, i.e. the whole 'how long have you been playing cello, what are your qualifications, who's your teacher, how did you get into KoolPurpleSkool' - complete with the deepset frown and the glasses and the amazingly impeccable English with less of a Korean accent than I imagined.

I think the questions just keep reinforcing how much of a cello toddler I am, reinforcing all my insecurities at the same time.

Went for lessons for the first time since I got my results, and my cello teacher was peering through her glasses at the scrawly penmanship, reading out the comments rather smugly (not in a bad way), and comparing my marks against the mark categories, and comparing my marks with the rest of her students. All this before 9 am on a Saturday.

And Leslie called her to tell her I passed, strangely. They have been talking about me like a specimen, apparently.

grow up

And it's that time of the year again, exams, except that this time I haven't had the luxury of starting to study yet, and instead have been going out for days in a row, catching up with people, seeing new 'friends', watching Stardust - anything except studying because my brain is fried from trying to do too many things at once.

Teaching - it hasn't been winding down as much as I hoped, in view of a potential new student and the fact that KoolBlueSchool's term is still ongoing until after my exams. I do get a buzz out of it though, it's the only thing that's making life seem not so horrid. All students - from the hardworking, the appreciative, the smartass types, or the stalker types who are not even my students but keep hanging outside the classroom - are fun to talk to and nice distractions to have around.

My no-carb plans have been thwarted by well-meaning friends who have been paying for my food BUT. I shall get down to working off the calories tomorrow.

One day I shall look back on the posts about school and smile fondly on how inane it all was. I can't wait to be thirty.

random nothing

A long overdue report but I passed my cello exam, and was happy for like 4 hours before the routine of work set in again and I had to go for rehearsals and the SingaRaya performance but now that it's over, I finally have the luxury of returning to essays and notes and savour the joys of studying.