iPods and Christianity

I write this in a sudden flash of bathroom inspiration coupled with the heady influence of Bach. Again, this is another tenuous link waiting to be blasted. In the days of waiting for the nationwide shortage of iPods to come to an end, I think I have gone a little mad. (this is not a cue for you to say, "But aren't you, already?")

The iPod comes along, all nice and white, waiting to save the mp3 player market, which it does, until the nasty Zen Micro rears its Hydra head, in all its arguably attractive spectrum of bright colours which distracts many an unsuspecting buyer into defecting from the Holy Grail of getting an iPod.

Ultimately, it all boils down to appearances (or colours). Whichever appears the most lust-able for the moment wins. Yet at the same time, between iPod users a.k.a Podders, there is the constant battle to keep the iPod scratch-free -- in other words, as white as possible. Others choose to cover up the white with candy-coloured iPod skins, perhaps not very unlike having purple and white hair extensions, to appear more like the Zen Micro. Towards these errant, fallen-by-the-wayside deviants, the I-swear-by-the-white Podders, can only shake their head in disapproval, smile their knowing smiles and/or avert their eyes to avoid looking at what may be contagious.

On the other hand, Apple, being forever aware of changes in Market Taste, have come up with the iPod mini -- different forms of the iPod religion that appeal to the non-hard core music listeners (presumably, 20GB of music might be a little too much for comfort) but still want the 'street cred' that comes with being a Podder. Yet to the staunch, orthodox Podders, Apple issues a reminder with the U2 iPod, in black and red, that "Hey, guess what, we haven't actually forgotten what all this is about!"

And now that it's Christmas, there is not a single iPod 20 GB/iPod mini in this little island, but the Pod spirit still hovers, and will be back in full force two weeks from now, after the festivities have subsided and soberness returns. This physical absence is but a recharging of the 12-hour battery. No doubt the Zen Micros are out partying in full force like the Duracell bunnies they are, yet only with the continuous draining and refilling of battery juices will the battery be properly calibrated, which then leads to a longer battery life. (think the sine curve of one's spiritual life)

In the fullness of time, the ones that have fallen by the wayside perhaps will be unceremoniously dumped by the guts of a raven and will end up in a mound of fertile soil.

I figured I might as well blast my own tenuous analogy while I am at it -- the essential counter-argument in any argumentative essay. For one, I use the sower and the seed analogy loosely to incorporate the backslidden Podders, instead of sticking the original version of Podder vs. non-Podder. Also, certain 'Christian' denominations cannot be classified under the iPod mini category as they actually are Zen Micros in disguise. More importantly, considering how the iPod is quite a luxury good, seeing how price inelastic it is, it doesn’t function as a good metaphor for Christianity which is open to everyone and anyone regardless of material wealth. And more importantly, we can’t buy our salvation because, well, it has all already been paid for upfront. Think Steve Jobs buying up all the iPods in the world and giving them out free. (Again, metaphor! Steve Jobs does not faintly resemble God, and...dream on!) Not to be forgotten is the fact that there is no way that salvation can be encapsulated in a Pod, save for John 3:16 (in which case it should be called a nutshell rather than a Pod but...)

This should be taken with a pinch of salt, and a healthy dose of irony (oxymoronic, maybe). Afterall, it is ultimately an analogy, and even if you have a Zen Micro in real life, it doesn’t mean you cannot be/are not a metaphorical Podder.

N.B. I hope I didn’t unwittingly pull a DaVinci Code here i.e. blaspheme. (details of which can be found here. Though one might consider the writer rather 'extremist', yet I think there is much truth here which should be considered by the metaphorical (or not) Podders.)

ragdoll trauma

On one of the rare occasions when I went online, at a certain obscure hour of the day, I met someone who made a passing remark, "This December seem to be an especially busy one". And I suppose it really has been. And it didn't end with the Sleeping Beauty run which turned everyone into night animals in a pit for everyone to point and ogle at during intervals. The eyebags have yet to disappear, but who am I kidding? They've been there forever.

Tonight I was at Marina Grove dolled up as some rag doll trying to get a group of unresponsive kids to play games. The place was so deserted it was quite sad. The only faintly populated place was the Mcdonalds and this pub. The magic of disappearing behind a painted face and lumpy costumes is addictive because for that few moments you get to be a different person. And it's a plus that children are always cute. But tonight when I bounced over to a little kid on a scooter and said hi, he tumbled off the scooter and burst into tears. I scurried away after apologising to the maid. Am just hoping that I didn't cause any permanent emotional scarring or anything. (And mingling was supposed to be easier than conducting games!)

During the ride back in the truck I was just wondering what he would do the next time he saw another rag doll, toy or otherwise. Pull out its hair and mutilate its face or inflict multiple painful deaths on it, maybe. During the ride back in the truck, when we stopped at a traffic light, a couple in the car next to us were strangely excited and the guy promptly whipped out his phone to take a picture for which the ragdoll and the elf gamely posed as best as they could with ice in their mouths and ears which were falling off. Freak show galore much. But it has to be said that the ragdoll getup is tons better than the santarina one, involving a trauma-inducing fire engine red bright dress with furry edges.

Still, I'd rather this period be spent more with people and less with work. As much as work is more play than anything, having to smile all the time is really depressing. Having to sing inane Christmas carols like all four verses of Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer is worse. Whatever happened to the baby in the manger?

And if anyone bothered to check out the second and third verses of Jingle Bells, you would discover that it's quite the stuff that Happy Tree Friendsare made of.

"Where's LeBon?!"

was the catchphrase of the day for Leandra who didn't have shoes for the red carpet half an hour before they were supposed to leave. Half the time she was running barefooted along the corridors. That aside, for the record, Sly didn't sound as bad in the stadium as much as he did on tv. I suppose he really couldn't hear himself, what with the hysterical fans and all. Even during the rehearsal he was hearing the echo from the soundtrack rather than his voice. But I am glad Taufik won anyway.

The whole of yesterday afternoon was spent bumming around. My friend was trying to see how many times she could walk round the stadium in an hour. Others played cards in the holding room, watching Dick Lee rehearse his song on the small tv. Clair, Grace and I were inside the hall watching Sly and Taufik rehearse "I Dream'. He's really sweet - no wonder my friends are crazy about him. Babes (Conde) was there too, and she was telling us about her son Adam in ACS Barker, and then she talked about Sly in front of him - "Sly's such a playful boy" - they share quite a mother and son relationship, it's so sweet! Sly calls her "my lao shi". But really, when Taufik, Gurmit and Sly are together they fool around so much. From the breakdancing (attempts) to the faux punches, it's really funny to watch them together. Anyway, they did an impromptu duet version of "I Dream" during the soundcheck and dedicated it to Babes.

Taufik: "Once in a lifetime performance.."
Wonder if anyone recorded it.

"Hey Mrs Babes, did anyone ever go "Hey Babe" and you said "How did you know my name?" " asks Grace, the one with the dimples who makes Sly go "Why you keep showing off your dimples?!"
Babes: "haha..no I wasn't so smart at that time"

The food they provide is so bad, Polar Puffs taste like heaven. But the hair and makeup people from Jean Yip are really really good. And yes it is true that gay men do hair and makeup so much better than the females. They are so gentle, and they generally have better taste than the females. Oh well.

After counting down the hours of boredom, we finally decided to take a walk to the red carpet and the fans were going crazy everytime someone stuck a camera into their faces. But really, it felt weird thinking that the Sly fans were screaming for is the scrawny guy wearing his white polo tee with a blue "Sly" written on one corner, playing his gameboy/Nokia Engage (I don't know which) in the make up room oblivious to everyone else. It's, I dunno, surreal? Like, what's so special about him anyway?

If fans were screaming for jeassea, that I can understand. She's really really hot. During rehearsal she was wearing some T-shirt that went "sexy since 67" and really, she undeniably is the hottest. Ian says she has "curves at all the right places" and Clair was gushing about her butt. And once anyone gets started on jeassea, it has quite a snowball effect because everyone else starts gushing too. From where we're sitting, we get a really good view of everyone from the back, and some people's back views are really inspiring, some not so. And some have weird habits, like Taufik, who keeps putting the back of his left hand at his butt when he sings.

The atmosphere in the stadium was more than electrifying. I've never seen or heard anything like it before. (Ok maybe that's because I haven't gone for any rock concerts, not that I want to). When the fans screamed, I felt all my cello strings vibrate. And it all becomes this huge tsunami of noise - it's so loud that you don't hear anything. Actually, I don't really remember anything. Maybe it's because it was so much like the rehearsal, except for the fans. And the idols had so much more energy, it's like they were drawing energy from the crowd, which is supposed to happen anyway.

After the high comes the overwhelming desire to sleep, which I can't get enough of these days. Post idol flu sucks. I don't know how I lost my voice but it's gone anyway.

"What goes around comes around, what goes up must come down" ?
The flu bug spreads really fast in the stadium.

idol fever part ii

What I said the last time about Sly's fans being quiet? I have to take that back. Yesterday at the indoor stadium rehearsal, they were swarming the entrance, and when my friend walked past and flash Sly's 'Rock On' hand signal or whatever you call it, they started screaming and going 'Sly rocks!!!' (punctuated by more screams). But that wasn't the end of it. Later,when Sly and Taufik passed the entrance, the fans' screams could be heard way down the corridor.

We spent four hours sitting around in the stadium doing nothing but watching the rehearsal and getting our ears blasted by Sly's "It's My Life" (He choked during the rehearsal - but even if it happens today he'll still get the votes!) and Taufik's 'Superstition'. Taufik is way way better. Sly screams too much, and his version of "I dream " is so weak! Actually, if anyone's going to be watching the finals tonight, I think the only nice parts are the group songs. The group medley, Britney's "Stronger" and "That's What Friends are For". As much as the songs are kinda cheesy, I think the group has chemistry. And energy. Man, they have so much of it it's scary.

Leandra is quite the Duracell bunny, even when they had to do the medley three times over. Jeassea is the hottest, it's a pity she got voted out so fast. David was wearing some red Kappa sweater and bright orange fireman's pants-how more beng can he get? Christopher looked so nondescript - black polo shirt, jeans, glasses. Maia is so tiny, and has too many tattoos for such a small surface area. Olinda spends most of her time alone in the room on the phone, gets along best with Christopher, Leandra and Jeassea. Her 'future husband' does not and will never exist. But she's nice. Daphne was sick yesterday but she neither looked or sounded it on stage. No one wants to take pictures with Jerry.

Tonight's going to be quite a ride.